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What I’ve Learned About Singleness (Part Three)


Read part one and part two.

Growing up I didn’t know what honorable relationships with young men looked like. During first grade I remember the “who likes who” conversations and the daily playground game of chase. Flirting was commonplace. 

From second grade on I was homeschooled. However, the “who likes who” culture still surrounded me. I had no idea what a God-glorifying relationship with guys looked like. What does it look like to interact with guys honorably, especially my brothers-in-Christ?

Flash forward a few years. Through several books I caught a vision for something more. Though I longed for that to be the reality in my life I still felt prone to being distracted. “Lord, I don’t want to be distracted or a distraction,” became my prayer. 

I longed to love my brothers in all purity– to point them to Jesus, not to me. 

I’ve already written several posts about singleness and the lessons I’ve learned. I shared some practical tips in the last one. In this one I wanted to share a simple encouragement– Jesus is able to keep you from stumbling. (Jude 1:21)

The Lord opened my eyes to see that I was fearing the power of sin. I was not trusting in His enabling grace. 

The reality is, if I am in Christ, Jesus has freed me from sin. He has given me His Holy Spirit to enable me to walk in the Spirit instead of the flesh. (Galatians 5:16) He desires to transform me more than I desire to be transformed. I can rest in Him, trusting Him to complete the work He began. After all, He is the Author and Finisher of our faith. (Hebrews 12:2) And He saves to the uttermost. (Hebrews 7:25) His grace is sufficient. (2 Corinthians 12:9) He is able to keep me from stumbling. (Jude 1:21)

As Elisabeth Elliot said,

The heart set to do the Father’s will need never fear defeat.

I feared that developing friendships with my brothers in Christ would be a distraction, or that I would be a distraction. But now I look at these relationships as a gift. Jesus did indeed keep me from stumbling. He transformed fear into joy. 

If you are single and wrestling with fear, you can trust Jesus. He desires your life to please Him more than you do. The heart set to do the Father’s will need never fear defeat.